Those childhood memories I recall- when we straddled sticks which we used to make our Lamborghini. Those early days I recall- when I wanted to have all and have none at the same time, just to make sure I get a share on both… Like the children of Israel, needing freedom but wouldn't want to leave Egypt. Those back and forth movements were what characterized my childhood! And now I have become an adult, I need to choose where to be; like precisely on what side I should be and what gains my commitment, but somehow I think that childhood trait should just be modified as I don't want to lose out in anything.
My parents took me to church, and introduced me to the God who needed me to be given totally to him. He said if he cannot have all of me, He cannot have some of me. This is where the problem is, because: As much as I needed an Angel; I wanted a hazard. I want to be the bullet; I want to be the shield. I want to be the fire; I want to be the water. I want to be life; I want to be death I want to be in the church; I want to be in the club. So, it was just like I was standing aloof In between the Pacific and Atlantic Ocean. Motivation tells us not to 'give up' so I, being a fan of motivation decided not to give God my up... my straddling lifestyle which made my friends see me as a 'real and happening guy', but after much compulsion and persuasion, I decided to give being on one side a try- I went to the altar to confess my sin and I gave my life to Him… He saw my heart and He took a pencil so that it will not be hard for Him to alter my name. After some days, I broke in and stole my life from Him. You needed to see how proud I was to have stolen from The Almighty. I gave Him again and stolen it again, it became a fun cycle for me… But somehow my mind was telling me that his eraser will soon get finished with the way I went in and out and Him cleaning and writing my name again. My lifelines were almost used up; but He was still merciful. A revelation in revelation opened my eyes to know I was that water He talked about: that which refused to be neither hot nor cold. Now I began to see myself like that water in God's mouth; and why He chose spewing me out as his best option. I was in His mouth but could see His face... it was raged. I knew that I was almost at the end of the road; With the circular motion I made in His mouth I knew He was getting ready to spew me out. I had to cry out...LORD WAIT!!! Not yet Lord...please wait. He said to me with a chilling tone..."if you were cold, I would have made you hot; and if you were hot I would have made you hotter, but since you chose none, I have to show you the door". For the first time in my life, I was truly sorry. I had to fall to my face and say: '"Lord I am sorry, I want You to be that big fish while I be Your Jonah, but this time I don't want You to vomit me, I want to drown in the belly of Your mission”… “Cast me out of the ship of my way, Drop me in the ocean of your will. Be my rising, be my falling I turn it all over to you today" … I was so sure He saw the sincerity in my heart. Afterwards, I queued in so that my name will be written in the Book of Life. I couldn't find no altar, so I did it in my room… He saw my heart, and this time He took a pen and before He inked it, He looked me in the eyes and asked: should I shut the the door? Shut the door Lord, I'm in. I am in forever!!! Dear reader, are you still straddling? Why don't you join me?