Text – Ephesians 4:26- “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath”
Today’s study is sequel to yesterday’s study, where I discussed the difference between the willful act of forgiveness and the emotional feeling of hurt. I mentioned that there are 4 terms we must understand in contrast to forgiveness.
We discussed the first, “Hurt” yesterday. We will go on to discuss the second one today.
2. DOUBT
Doubt means to lack confidence in someone; that is, to disbelieve, question, or suspect them. This is your mind's defense mechanism in response to hurts from past experiences.
Here is a practical example- Your nephew came to spend his holidays with you, and you suddenly find out that the boy steals. Probably, he even stole from people around you, and it became a thing of shame to you, and to your family.
Yes, you may have forgiven him for all the shame he brought to your family, and you may even have healed up from the pain... but you may still not trust him, and suspect his every move. This does not imply in any way that you have not forgiven him; it only means that you doubt him.
It’s on the issue of doubt that the difference between forgiving and forgetting becomes clear. The fact that you still doubt someone who has offended you shows that you have not forgotten the things they did to you in the past. However, it's very possible you have forgiven then, and you have recovered from the hurt.
Like I mentioned earlier, doubt is your mind's defense mechanism, and it’s not wrong, and does not in any way signify unforgiveness. When people, by their actions, disappoint your trust, they will have to work hard to gain it back.
Many Christians have become gullible because they see doubt as unforgiveness, and as such have become victims of their own folly, helplessly walking back into the hands of an offender who is set out to hurt them again.
While doubt and forgiveness are two independent terms, they are not mutually exclusive of each other. In other words, the presence of one does not necessarily imply the absence of the other. Doubt can be in your heart, whether you have forgiven or not... In fact, it's very possible not to doubt someone anymore, while you've still not forgiven the person.
A god example of when unforgiveness persists in the absence of doubt is this – You have a close friend that you confide in so much, and you share a lot of your private issues with. Unfortunately, you found out that he/she gossiped about one of your ‘private issues’ with another person.
Let’s assume you confronted the friend, and he/she remorsefully admits it was a mistake, and apologized, so you remain close friends, and still confide in him/her (i.e. no doubts), yet somewhere deep within, you are patiently waiting for an opportune moment to strike back (unforgiveness). In this case, you do not doubt the friend, but you still haven’t forgiven! This is to show you that doubt is not in any way a measure of forgiveness.
Jesus said we should be wise as serpents, but as gentle as doves (Matthew 10:16). So dearly beloved, be wise! Forgive people, but if they have broken your trust, let the responsibility be on them to earn it back.
PRAYERS
1. Lord I forgive everyone that has offended me. I relinquish every right I have to vengeance in Jesus Name.
2. Father, please give the grace to maintain a forgiving spirit at all times in Jesus Name.
3. Father, please give me the wisdom to separate doubt from unforgiveness in my daily dealings with people in Jesus Name.