In fellowship a few weeks ago, we talked about "Spiritual Eunuchs: Christians Who Are Castrate” I am only human, so of course my first thought was --- gosh, what a weird title. Basically, the part that hit me the most was, in very brief summary - God surgically cutting off my old heart and desires and giving me a new heart, and being so totally sold out to Him that my will is sacrificed for His.
Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." (The sermon is on YouTube: check it out - https://bit.ly/2CdIzp4)
It was a very good sermon, and as usual, I was laughing, sighing and tapping my friend once in a while at the funny and inspiring parts…until it got to me. I'm not sure at what point it did.
It was my fault. I take the blame entirely. You see, as the sermon was rounding up, my friends began praying quite fervently. I was not in the mood to pray, but the Spirit was moving, and for goodness sake, I was not going to get left out. So I joined. Something along the lines of "Lord, uhm, sure castrate my heart too." “Pretty please give me a new heart. Even though, let’s face it, my heart is pretty good already. But ---uhm, sure.”
It took a while for me to get serious. But the more I prayed, the more I saw areas of my life I wasn’t proud off. So, slowly, I gingerly began pointing out the rooms of my heart-house Jesus was kinda-not-really invited in.
I mean, the “Oh Lord I won’t recommend you deal with that yet. But if you want to, you can have it --" Sigh. Unbeknownst to me, He took me rather seriously. (After 13 years of walking with the Lord, I'm still ALWAYS surprised God takes me seriously.) "You're going to go *Place-that-must-not-be-named,*" He said.
Simple words. I was mortified. "No, I am NOT. I really...don't want to.” "Your will to become My Will." He countered. That caused a rainstorm of embarrassing tears, as I groped around for a tissue, and my friends looked on sympathetically. (Oh, the move of the Spirit.)
God didn’t only deal with my will that day - one by one, we're facing the death of selves and destruction of wills contrary to His Will.
It's an intriguing sight – the surrendering of your life, hopes and dreams to His throne.
Well, we'll see what the future becomes. For now, we've turned it into the grandest joke: "Hey, what if your future is in the Sahara?" “Wherever He sends me, man, I'm castrated." My friends and I - we get quizzical stares from onlookers all the time. We're used to it. Whatever the future holds – it will bring Him glory. Our wills are laid down for His.
Image Credit: mygodmymusicmylife.com